Thursday, 19 December 2019

Hysterectomy at 22

Hi beautiful people.

I thought I would write a blog post about my experience with everything that has happened over the past couple of months while it's still somewhat fresh in my head and mind. Although it's hurting my heart to even think about it still, I feel like looking back at this post in years to come, it will bring some needed light on the situation that will eventually help me heal. 
I honestly never expected to get one so young, I thought maybe in the distant future it might be something I would have to consider. 

(TRIGGER WARNING: Talk about hemorraghing and hysterectomy)

So this is me right after giving birth. Everything was perfect, my body felt like a million bucks compared to what it felt like after giving birth to Lillian. Although I had some scary moments during labor with Lochlann, this felt like heaven. I was able to hold him, love him and get in all of those newborn snuggles I didn't get to experience with Lillian right after labor. 

It all started about 3 weeks postpartum. 
By this point your bleeding should basically resemble a very light period, and it was for me mostly. But there was this feeling in my stomach and I had mentally prepared myself for the worst. Except, one night I woke up and was just drenched in blood, I saw it on the sheets. I was passing blood clots and my stomach just sank. I knew when I woke up I was going to have to call my doctor and let her know, and that's what I did. Her nurse immediately got me an ultrasound for a couple hours later just to check to see what was going on. Right after I got off the phone, I prepared myself for what was going to happen. So I stopped eating incase I had to go into surgery later that day.
When I got into the imaging room, immediately I felt scared. It brought back some memories with how many I had to get after Lillian was born and I hated that feeling. 
This radiologist was young and kind but immediately when she began the ultrasound, she started asking some questions. "When did you give birth?", "How much bleeding have you been having?", "Are you feeling okay?". She wouldn't look at me, just at the screen. I asked her if she could tell me if anything was retaining and she said the doctor on site would let me know. In my heart, I knew it wasn't good. 

I just got home from the ultrasound which was around 20 minutes later and my OBGYN's office was calling me. As soon as I answered, the nurse genuinely sounded sad. She let me know that it wasn't good news and I needed to come see my OB in the hospital where she was in the outpatients clinic.

When I got there, I felt super anxious. I knew I would most likely have to get a D+C like all my previous ones with Lillian. They called me back to my room and we waited for a good 40 minutes. But once my doctor came in, she sat down beside me and explained everything. There was definitely retaining placenta like last time and in the exact same spot. 
With my last D+C in my postpartum with Lillian, they accidentally scraped part of my uterine lining (endometrium) so she assumed that my placenta grew into that part where it was weakened. 
I immediately ask her if we need to do a surgery and she was certain we did. 
This was when I was feeling nervous and paranoid. I didn't want them to scrape more of my uterus by accident. I didn't want to lose more blood like I did in all of the previous D+C's. I just didn't want to go through all of this trauma and pain like last time. 
But I knew I had to. 
Thursday, 11 April 2019

Family/Maternity Photos

Happy Thursday you guys! 

I debated on getting maternity photos with my second babe for a long time. This second pregnancy has been ROUGH. Although I'm fortunate I haven't had any complications with this one like I did with Lillian. It doesn't change the fact that I've been feeling super exhausted, sore and emotional. 
I thought I would be more accepting this time around with all the changes happening to my body as it was hard first time around, but honestly because I think we did these babes back to back, it's even harder on my body + mental state. I am currently almost 35 weeks and still trying to come to terms with the amount of stretch marks have shown up ALL OVER my body. Like guys, this is insane. But again, still trying to accept this. 

I posted a question box on my Instagram one day and asked all my fellow mamas if I should get Maternity photos done and literally EVERYONE said do it or I would probably regret it. And you guys were so right. Preston also was super supportive and said the same thing! I also took advantage of the fact that we haven't had family photos professionally done, EVER. So I wanted some of us 3 before our little guy arrives. 

I can't thank Ashley enough for capturing these moments for us, she is seriously the most gentle, kind soul. If anyone local is in need of a photographer, please get in contact with her! She is AMAZING.

So mamas, if you are debating on getting maternity photos for whatever reason, JUST DO IT. I am so thankful for everyone encouraging me to go through with it. And now look, we will have these moments to look back on for the rest of our lives. You are beautiful ladies, in EVERY pregnancy. And take that time to cherish your body and the beautiful thing it is doing. 

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

Nursery Reveal

I can't believe it's been over a year since Lillian came into this world. She's now 13 months old and seriously the best little babe. We didn't find out the gender with her when I was pregnant so her nursery before was just super neutral and had blue walls. I've always dreamt of having a girl so when she was born, I immediately was SO excited to plan her nursery. It might have taken over a year but we got there. There are some things I still want to add but for right now, I'm still in love with how it turned out. I envisioned a flora/pink/gold/white theme and it definitely came to light. I couldn't decide on just one of those so I made it work with all of those things.